A Couple of Jokes

How does a fat girl take a bath?
First, she fills the tub and then she turns on the water...Ha Ha!


There was this guy who walked into a bar with his pet monkey and the bar tender told the guy "Man, you can't bring that monkey in destroying things." To this, the guy replied, "No, he is perfectly trained and will be fine, I promise." The bartender decided to let the guy stay since he was a frequent customer and a big tipper. A few minutes later, the monkey jumped off the guys shoulder and ran over and swallowed a cue ball off of the pool table. The man was then kicked out of the bar. A week later, the guy came back with the same monkey and told the bartender, "Don't worry about him, he learned his lesson last time." Shortly after, the monkey reached over and grabbed a cherry out of the bowl on the bar, stuck it up his rear end, pulled it out and then ate it. The bar tender asked the guy, "Man what is that monkey doing." The guy answered, "Well, after passing that cue ball, he is measuring everything BEFORE he eats it." :-)