My Life as an Unknown Celebrity

Concerning my bodybuilding competition last week...





The amount of work to enter any competition is more than what you think. Take that times ten. Bodybuilding is such hard work. You have to lift so many weights to get where you are. I've been fortunate to have been built like Hercules since I was about 14. I have a picture to prove it...

There isn't much to say after that, but I guess I should say something anyway. How about "wow"? Nah, it doesn't quite do that picture justice.

Now, before you sign off because of nausea, let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm not the most interesting person out there, but as you can see by the non-doctored photo (ha ha), I love a laugh every now and again. I think that has to do with my family. We all are comedians. Before I moved to Cincinnati, I lived in Frankfort, Indiana, for 20+ years. Frankfort is a small farming community, where the most exciting thing was to read the police blotter. I suppose that with the world famous "Hot Dog Festival", you could make the argument that it's the biggest city between Lafayette and Indianapolis, but you would be wrong (It's Lebanon). Ok, this is getting dull. Let's move on. I have a sister of an undisclosed age (but I'll give you a hint...26 +3), a brother-in-law who loves a man named Raymond, two awesome nephews, a mom and dad whose age I'm unsure of, but the carbon dating suggests around 1500-1000 B.C. (Just Kidding) They are in the prime of their life...It takes primer to get them started. I'm just kidding. Dad is probably more athletic than I am, and mom learned how to drive in her 40's, so they are still pretty hip. Plus, I'm halfway to their age, so I'm going to be there before I know it.

I went to God's Bible School for college, and was planning on going on to get my degree in law enforcement. I ended up getting my degree in teaching. I am not teaching this year, but I would like to go and get my master's degree.

My life is currently devoted to my wonderful wife Beth (she paid me nothing for putting that in), my German shepherd that's supposed to be Beth's, but I've kind of taken over, a chihuahua who can be a monster, but is very cute, a turtle who hates me and a frog who wants nothing but food.

As you probably know from my wife, the Reds are in big trouble. They just lost their best outfielder, Ryan Freel, because of a fracture in his finger. That's ok, they have done more than anyone here thought they would.

I'm sure there's more stuff that I want to tell you, but I am going to bore you more later. I hope that we haven't lost any faithful fans. It's not Beth's fault.